Why is so easy for us to see the faults with others, and ignore our own? How often do we think, what is wrong with everyone else? In my own life, I have discovered that this is a dangerous mindset to acquire.

What we judge in others is what we judge in ourselves. Every time we judge someone else, we are really judging ourselves. Therefore, if we take the time to work on ourselves and fix the things wrong in our own lives, then we will not find fault with anyone else. How true is that? And yet, so hard to accept, embrace, and implement in our life.

Judgment comes from our own pain and insecurities. I used to think that everyone was staring at my hands and thinking negatively about my scars because that’s how I felt about them. Once I accepted them, the thoughts of how other people perceived them never entered my mind. It was no longer important to me. I stopped judging myself, therefore I don’t feel judged by others.

We can free ourselves from the pain of judgment by dealing with our own problems and emotions. The devil tries to use our heartaches against us. If we are not careful, he will have us building walls so high that no one could ever climb over them, and thinking negatively about people. When we turn to God, however, He will show us how to embrace love — instead of blocking it.

I don’t want to be the type of person who judges other people. I want to leave the judging up to my Lord because He knows our every thought, action, and intention. It is my heart’s desire to love and pray for other people.

Below are few ways that I am learning to love instead of judging:

1. Treat other people the way you want to be treated.

2. Lift those struggling up to the Lord in prayer. People need our love, prayers, and compassion more than anything else.

3. Ask God for the right perspective about situations and the actions to reflect Him.

4. Realize that no one is perfect and we all need grace and forgiveness of our Lord.

When I truly come from a place of love and compassion for others and desire to lift them up instead of tearing them down, then there is more joy and peace in my life. Judging others hurts me more than it hurts the person I am judging. Now when I notice myself judging others, I release the judgment and go through the steps above. Sometimes just noticing my judgment is all that I need to do to overcome it.

Candida Sullivan is an award-winning author and inspirational speaker. She helps others to develop the mindset to overcome their circumstances. Her recent book, Despite Your Circumstances, won the 2016 CSPA Book of the Year Award in Christian Living. She lives in New Tazewell with her husband and kids. For more information about her books or to schedule her for your event, email her at candidasullivan@yahoo.com.