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It’s fair to say that I’m easily entertained. I can burn time just listening to people talk. I have always gotten enjoyment from the English language and the different way that people talk and those weird sayings that we find ourselves using. I’m the type of guy that always dissects everything around me to see what it’s truly made of. I still have several GI Joe action figures from my childhood with the heads torn off to prove it.

I found myself sitting quietly and just like that, my mind started to drift, and I began to think about some of these sayings that we use. I have heard the saying, “Man cannot live by bread alone”. I disagree because I can make a plate of biscuits disappear quicker than Houdini. When I was a child, a loaf of bread was essential, and I’d eat just about anything slapped between two slices of bread. However, my favorite was a sugan and butter sandwich. And they say America has an obesity problem. Hogwash!

I hear friends say to, “Go big or go home”. I’ll choose going home every time. I thought about going big once, but it seemed like a lot of work and then I remembered that my home had snacks and a big screen television, so the rest is history. Someone once said, “The only thing to fear is fear itself”. No, the only thing to fear is feeling your stomach turn over and your stuck in traffic. You realize that gas station sushi wasn’t a good ideal after all. I assure you that traffic will never move so slow in your life.

I heard someone say, “Don’t cry over spilt milk”. Have you seen the price of milk lately? If I spill some, I’m absolutely going to cry over it. If I drop an egg, I’ll likely pass out. I heard a co-worker say he couldn’t come to work because he was “Under the weather”. I’m pretty sure we all are under the weather. I’ve never seen rain fall upwards. Nice try buddy.

Everyone is always talking about chasing your dreams. I’m not much on running. Maybe I can just find out where those dreams are going and meet them there later. People say that things get better with age. Whomever said this has clearly hasn’t seen that pan of dressing left over from Christmas in my fridge. It clearly hasn’t improved with age.

When I was a child, my dad would always say at bedtime, “Sleep tight, don’t let the bed bugs bite”.

Well, thanks dad. Now I’m terrified of being attacked by a bug and sleep is the last thing I’ll do. We hear “Don’t judge a man until we walk a mile in his shoes”. First, I’m not wearing someone else’s stinky shoes.

Plus, if I walked a mile, I would be tired and wouldn’t care about judging him anymore. Plus, He’s barefoot and a mile away. He has enough problems without being judged by me.

I’ve always heard that “Pride comes before the fall”. That brings back a memory when my pride was quickly replaced by embarrassment. Back in my early 20’s, it was the rage to polish up your car, blast music from speakers bigger than a wash tub and ride in a circle around the local shopping center. I had purchased an old junker but was beaming with pride as I made my way around the parking lot. I finally got the attention of the girl I was after and suddenly, with everyone looking, the seat in the car broke and sent me flying into the backseat. I tried to recover but “That ship had already sailed” as they say.