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When I was a teenager, I went through a really dark period in my life. I got deeply hurt by someone in the church, and I stopped attending church for a while. Once I got out into the world, I made some bad decisions. One day a man talked badly to me. In the name of the Lord, he called me names and tried to condemn me for my sins. It hurt me so bad. I was already in a deep place of pain, and he added another layer to my turmoil. That day through his judgment of me, he killed his influence on me.

His words didn’t make me want to go back to church. His actions didn’t show me the Lord. It made me build walls around my broken heart and feel as if I wasn’t good enough or I didn’t deserve God’s love.

As a child of God, I wish I could say I’ve never acted that way, but I have. I’ve quoted scripture and tried my best to show others their sins. What opened my eyes was when someone told me they didn’t like my God.

Talk about bringing me to my knees. My judgment and actions had pushed someone away from God instead of leading them to Him.

That day I started praying for God to help me overcome my judging and help me to love and see others as He does.

Love can move mountains, while judgments build walls. We can use our words to lift others up or tear them down.

I can’t point a finger or throw stones at anyone else because I sin too. Just because I sin differently than someone else doesn’t make me better.

When I feel the old ways start creeping back in, I start praying for God to return my heart to love. It’s not my job to condemn, punish, or belittle someone else. It is my responsibility to LOVE them.

I pray I use my words and actions to love instead of hurt. I pray that if others speak of me, it will be that I helped them to the Lord, instead of pushing them away.

Candida Sullivan is an award-winning author, inspirational speaker and certified life coach. Her book, Despite Your Circumstances, won the 2016 CSPA book of the year award. It is her passion to help others learn to overcome their own circumstances. She lives in New Tazewell, Tennessee with her husband and children. To contact her, email candidasullivan@yahoo.com.